Ever since I was this tiny little boy (not that long ago...) I knew I wanted to go college. Why? I still question myself about the actual motivations. And, to be honest, even today, the day my final exam needed to graduate took place, I still do not know them exactly and don’t even think it’s that important to lose much time trying to find them out.
Instead I focused on understanding why am I feeling somewhat… weird. One should expect a very recently graduated guy to be happy as hell, screaming and shouting, jumping all over the place. Somehow, I don’t feel like doing that. My explanation for that, after extensive and thorough thinking and some introspection, is as follows:
In my case, things were a bit different. In my last semester in Lisbon I finished all the courses I had to go through to graduate except for one (yes, I only had to pass a course here in Maastricht… I’m lucky but I’ve worked for that…). It was almost as if I was already done. I took part in all the graduation ceremonies that we have in Portugal. I experienced relief and I was glad with my accomplishments. It is good when you achieve something important for which you had to work, to put some effort and dedication. Because being a student is not just about partying. It involves work and lots of boring hours in front of books, as well as a few grey hair and some burned eyelashes.
But I never felt it was over. Done with. Gone with the wind. Because there was always this last course. And the feeling of emptiness that normally comes with the end of something meaningful just wasn’t there. It came now. It’s like if I wrote a big sentence back home and then waited to come to Maastricht to finalize it with a full stop. But sometimes, that very last step that seems to be the least meaningful, is the one that gets you thinking the most. And it just goes to show that no matter how much more experience age gives you in dealing with life’s mysterious ways, it is always difficult to handle changes and new realities.
Big changes await me now. And I have no other choice but to be ready.
Instead I focused on understanding why am I feeling somewhat… weird. One should expect a very recently graduated guy to be happy as hell, screaming and shouting, jumping all over the place. Somehow, I don’t feel like doing that. My explanation for that, after extensive and thorough thinking and some introspection, is as follows:
In my case, things were a bit different. In my last semester in Lisbon I finished all the courses I had to go through to graduate except for one (yes, I only had to pass a course here in Maastricht… I’m lucky but I’ve worked for that…). It was almost as if I was already done. I took part in all the graduation ceremonies that we have in Portugal. I experienced relief and I was glad with my accomplishments. It is good when you achieve something important for which you had to work, to put some effort and dedication. Because being a student is not just about partying. It involves work and lots of boring hours in front of books, as well as a few grey hair and some burned eyelashes.
But I never felt it was over. Done with. Gone with the wind. Because there was always this last course. And the feeling of emptiness that normally comes with the end of something meaningful just wasn’t there. It came now. It’s like if I wrote a big sentence back home and then waited to come to Maastricht to finalize it with a full stop. But sometimes, that very last step that seems to be the least meaningful, is the one that gets you thinking the most. And it just goes to show that no matter how much more experience age gives you in dealing with life’s mysterious ways, it is always difficult to handle changes and new realities.
Big changes await me now. And I have no other choice but to be ready.
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